Decent Coverups

When I fell in love

I fell not for beauty

But for a persona

That rattled my grit

Into demogorgons

I couldn't fight

And hence I built

I built a temple

of words and poetry

For my mistress

With a tale to tell

No less a history


I worshipped the demigod

Both in flesh and soul

Built her dreams

Out of sweat and blood

And of care and love

I built her dreams

Ones without her

I saw no more

I built her dreams

Ones without her

I wanted no more


She was no god

No demigod either

There are no gods.

Goddesses neither.

Unless she is one

I still don't know.


We faltered.

And I fell deeper in love.

We broke.

And I fell even deeper in love.

We patched.

And I fell in love.

And, deeper yet again.


It took layers

Of craft and care

To rebuild and rework

Scars once left

wide open and bare


With time, they say you heal

If only, not absolutely

And perfectly imperfect

Threadbare coverups.

What they don't tell you

Is

That with time,

You don't heal

You only stich

You only glue

Over again

And anew

Layers

And

Layers

All patched,

In strips of

Band-aid

Strips of

Sickly Pale,

Tipsy red and blue.

Until you can band-aid no more

Until any more is a little too more

Until any less is a little too less

Until any of you is you no more.

Until you want,

to heal no more.


You live

To grow into a demon

She wants no more


There's that thing

About last visits

And good poetry.

They leave

Brazen, cut and bare

Right in the middle

Of absolute nowhere

Incomplete.

And traumatizingly Implicit.


It makes you imbecile

And Vulnerable

All at the very same time.

The more you reason

The more you lose

Until there's nothing more

left to lose.


And then you resort to greed

Of panicky mediocrity

Of "things" you want to lose no more

Some"thing" of which you have none

some"thing" of which you never had none


You hunger for lust

And the ledgers of love's labour lost

You fall in love again

With hate

With Anger

And with Angst

All, and more

Until your hate

makes you all human

And patch and patch and patch

Until you can no more.




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