How To Be A Ghost And Not Know It

Illustration Courtesy: https://mobile.twitter.com/artnau/status/1351472694148132865/photo/2 by Natalia Evelyn Bencicova

It is difficult

I presume

Being a ghost

A whole lot of haunt

With cytoplasmic flaunt

And frill crochet and lace

With a very white face

All puke and disgrace

All epilogue sans preface

You would need to know how not to die

Even in death, in no coffins to lie

Or lie about being quite cold and dead

You should haunt, spook and scare instead

It is funny

I assume

How they think you have long gone

After the moon, in a sunless dawn

To a grave all grey they had carried you

You in white like a bride all new

Frustrating I know it sure can get

When they wear all black to menus set

And wail and cry and scream and try

With unshed tears, and a lousy goodbye

Little surprise then, you stomp your feet

Creak up the stairs, pull off the bed sheet

From naive little silly kids, all too dumb

All too ready to fear succumb

You rock the chair and beat your chest

Oh do look at me I am distressed!!

They look at you and your hoary eyes

Your deadpan face and do realise

You are all shade, all ghost, all ghoul

But dearies that's a thought most foul

"I aint as dead as dead can be"

You shout unheard, "you soon will see"

You are alive, why don't they see

You think, you muse, and disagree

With ideas that you are no more

How easy they now do you ignore

You are no ghost, you do regular things

Wear dandy dresses and your emerald rings

The red high heels make a proper ghost

Red wine, chicken and the garlic toast

You so still savour and hog in delight

You sit at their table under a fairy light

And waft through walls when you think it's right

Illustration Courtesy: "In The Land of Dreamy Dreams" | Model: Karen Elson, Photographer: Tim Walker, Vogue UK, May 2015

You grab ankles from under the bed

And creak doors open to fright and dread

The crooked crawl becomes you well

But you are no ghost, I sure can tell

You love cartoons and sitcoms too

You sneeze, and cough and go all blue

Dab at tears, and fall right off

Doubling in laughter or sneering in scoff

A ghost is when a ghost believes it is

Not knowing you're one is a cute li'l miss

You can't be a ghost until you think you are

Until headless or heartless is not bizarre

A ghost one can be and not know a thing

With the spring in the step and a song to sing

To know not what you are but live undead

Find a graveyard, red heels and a moon all red

Do the foxtrot with spirits galore

Will you then be the ghost all adore